Tag: #A Ranchwife’s Slant humor column
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Due to Cows, Your Plans Have Been Cancelled
This column was originally published October 9, 2013 One of the most important virtues of ranching is having contortionist-like flexibility (metaphorically, but physical flexibility does come in handy at times). Flexibility is required when a major part of one’s life involves managing numerous animals. They can get out, knock important water tank parts loose or…
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My Divine Intervention Moment
This column was originally published July 2, 2014 The day after our son’s graduation I needed to decompress stresses I’d overcome and sort out all the recent events that happened. After getting through a couple of week’s worth of anxieties, pressing to-dos, and worries I needed a long walk to quiet my mind, replenish my…
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Hand Signals: Synonym for “Confuse”
This column was originally published February 26, 2014 Whenever Art and I are dealing with cows, machinery, or trailers, he’ll suddenly switch to his native tongue to communicate with me. It’s the language cavemen invented communicating with hand gestures and sometimes accompanied by loud grunts. Thousands of years later farmers and ranchers still use this…
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The Loathesome Gate Job
This column was originally published May 21, 2014 I’ve never viewed any job involving a gate as being a coveted one. Stubborn gates always seem to require more muscle, squeezing, and grunting to shut than to open. I do not enjoy being watched while straining to get a tight wire gate open or getting perfectly…
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What A Ranch Woman Wants to Hear
This column was originally published December 11, 2013 After the first year as husband and wife and every day thereafter, a ranch wife loves to hear certain words from her husband. Words that renew her romantic notions about the man she married. Whether husbands realize it or not, there are certain things a wife never…
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The Art of Encouraging and Supporting Shop Projects From Afar
One of the many shop projects I’ve witnessed over the years: converting my old family car (Ford Explorer) into a “ranch pickup”…on Mother’s Day. This column was originally published September 25, 2013 It’s a good idea for wives to show genuine interest in their husband’s projects, but discretion is advised. Supporting my spouse’s projects demonstrates…
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My Annual Lucille Ball Moment in Twine
A couple of ideal-looking baling twine balls. Examples courtesy of my Hubs. This column was originally published December 26, 2013 Cutting twine on a round bale and gathering it into a wad may seem like a task any idiot can do, but at the start of a new winter cow-feeding season I have all sorts…
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Patches are so Un-holey
This spring–when it was still snowing–I dug out the jeans I’d stored away for patching; dug out my denim scraps to make patches and sewed different sized denim squares and rectangles on my work jeans. Now I have three new pairs of jeans to wear for ranch work! That may sound kind of weird, but there’s nothing like…