A Dame Funny Game


“What’s a Dame to do?” is my new favorite board game for girlfriends. Players take turns drawing a dame’s dilemma card. Everyone else draws a reaction card and lays it down for all to see. The girlfriend with the dilemma chooses one of the reactions and everyone else guesses which one she picked. Irrelevant reactions make the game funny.  

I created a similar game called “What’s a ranch wife to do?” Choose what you think my reaction would be for the following dilemmas.

1.       My husband asks if I deposited a big check that hasn’t showed up in our account yet (because I keep forgetting to deposit it); what’s a ranch wife to do?

(a) Tell him it probably hasn’t gone through yet
(b) Say, “I got there after hours”
(c) Say, “I forgot to take it when I went to town last”  

2.       I put a small ding in the good pickup, what’s a ranchwife to do?
(a) When asked say, “I hit a deer”
(b) Ask him, “When did you put that dent in the pickup?
(c) Point and say, “Who did that!?”
(d) Leave an explanation on the front door 

3.       My husband’s burning mad while trailing cows home because no one rode ahead to block them from going the wrong way and now we have a big mess. He rides off after cows up front and is gone for a while, what’s a ranchwife to do?
(a) Tie a yellow ribbon ‘round the old oak tree
(b) Remember the Alamo
(c) Apply sunscreen 

4.       The stack yard’s new gate is too tight for me to shut by myself, what’s a ranchwife to do?
(a) Throw a fit then cry
(b) Secure the gate with chains, bungee cords, tie-down straps, baling wire, the fence stretcher or whatever means necessary
(c) Build a pile of tree limbs in front of the gate

5.       A warning light comes on in the pickup and I keep forgetting to mention it until I’m asked about it, what’s a ranchwife to do?

(a) Say, “I just thought it was an electronics glitch”
(b) Say, “What light?”
(c) Hug him 

6.       I didn’t check both mirrors while backing up and dented a stock tank, what’s a ranchwife to do?
(a) Mention that the bulls must’ve been fighting by the tanks and bent one of them up
(b) Tell him it was in my blind spot
(c) Say, “I thought it was a rock”  

7.       I get mad when my husband nags me about not forgetting to buy his can of chew but I still forget what’s a ranchwife to do?

(a) Explain the store was out
(b) Say, “If it’s not on my grocery list, I’ll forget”
(c) Say “Oh, I thought you said to pick up a can of stew!”  

8.       I promise that supper will be ready by six, then lose track of time doing something else. He’s walking to the house and I don’t have supper started, what’s a ranchwife to do?
(a) Ask him if he bought more beer  
(b) Tell him someone called about our cows being out and that I just got back from checking
(c) Check his mood then deal with it accordingly 

9.       I’m supposed to headcount cows at the gate but I forgot, what’s a ranchwife to do?
(a) Make the kids do it
(b) Say, “What did you come up with?” before my husband does
(c) Say, “I didn’t know you were talking to me”  

I prefer harmony at my house and sometimes creative answers avert unnecessary tension. Here are my answers: 1. c, 2. c, 3. a, 4. b, 5. b, 6. c, 7. a, 8. c, 9. b  

Column originally published November 22-28, 2009

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